A journey through grief with autism.

Alan Greenwell

2-Minute Read


As parents life is full of worry. It does not matter what kind of child you have its full of worry. The only thing different in being a parent of an autistic child is that you have to decipher each situation. The obvious answer is not always the answer.

This morning after a tough night with Tam, I spent some time explaining to him that I needed him to go to school. I did that parent thing and asked Tam to go to school for Daddy. All the time I could feel his heartbeat thumping away far to fast and his anxiety on his face. He wet himself. No fuss lets get you sorted and get ready son. So a quick shower and fresh set of clothes and off to school. My heart going fast and his. I am doing the right thing?

Now just to be clear if Tam is unwell, with like a bad cold, I will make him a nest and let him have his iPad and keep an eye on him. But like last week while he was off school he is “physically ok” he does not get an easy day. We do “school work”, I get him to help tidying up, we do household chores together, we go for a walk and do writing or some form of learning. No iPad no easy day. Well he might get his iPad at 4:00pm but only if he has helped and actively taken part in learning.

I just feel its important to not let Tam be lazy and also to make sure that he realises that whatever is wrong at school he still needs to learn. Missing school is something me and Bev tried to guard against. However, feeling Tams chest and seeing the tension in him tells me this is not him trying to swing the lead. He has a problem and it is my job to work this out with him.

Parenting ain’t easy, single parenting is not easy and single parenting of an autistic child in not easy. We will work this out.

Alan & Tam

Without you

I know that I must change

Without you

I’ll never be the same

Alterbridge - Godspeed

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