A change is as good as a rest, that’s a saying I have always appreciated in my life. Then life throws a change at you that you don’t want and it is anything but a rest. In fact it becomes the most heartbreaking, stressful and disturbing event of your life.
For the past year I have done everything I can to build a stable platform for mine and Tams life. A place to heal, a place to be miserable and a place to learn to live again. I have fought tooth and nail to protect Tam and protect our little existence. I have placed so much importance on the stability of that platform that any form of change has felt traumatic.
Graham our taxi driver to school has been a constant for Tam and me since Bev’s death. Through thick and thin he has got us to school and me back home.
Today I have started to change that. It is a small change but I am going to stop escorting Tam to school in the taxi. An escort has been organised called Claire. This morning was the first journey for Tam with her and me in support. I am only going to be with him this week to support Claire in getting to know Tam.
After all of the worry I have had in the past week about this change it went off better than I could of hoped. Now Tam is not a trusting kid. He is very wary of strangers but when we got to school he grabbed Claire’s hand and give her a hug and got out of the taxi with her. And off he went to school. Could not have gone better.
All of a sudden Tam having an escort to school feels like a good space to be in. It might help with his separation anxiety. It might even help with my separation anxiety. It will help with our resilience.
Next week it will start fully with me handing Tam off to Graham and Claire to get him to school.