A journey through grief with autism.

Alan Greenwell

2-Minute Read


I was not one of those kids that hated school, For me school was boring and the teachers struggled to keep me interested. Tam however loves school. It gives him the structure and engagement that he needs. Now matter how hard I try it is difficult to keep up the level of engagement that school gives him.

Today we are roughly half way through the summer holiday and so far Tam has not missed a day or waking hour where I have not had the question “going to school?” or “going to school tomorrow?”. Sometimes it is asked 10 times in 5 minutes. I wish I could get a £1 for every time he asks. Maybe he is expecting a £1 from me every time he asks?

After trying a whole raft of things including setting up a mini school with white board and timeline for us to follow I have discovered that it is a very poor relation of going to school. The fact is that when I try to set up a mini classroom it just frustrates and confuses him. (he’s just asked “yes going to school”)(and again this time twice even though I answered “no you are not going to school”)(add another one)

So far I have been writing this for 9 minutes and we are up to 4 asks. I am not kidding when I say that this goes on all day. It really goes on all day. It is also not just me he asks. He will ask random people. If I had to give an estimate I would probably say a thousand times a day, but in reality it might feel like that but its probably about 100-200 times a day. Multiply that the number of days since the school broke up and we are well over 1000 times.

If anyone has any ideas on how to solve this problem I am very willing to listen and try whatever advice that you can give. I show Tam a calendar every time I can to try to help. Right now I am right out of ideas. We try to stay busy but it never stops him asking “going to school tomorrow”. (add another ask)

The funny part is that the last couple of days of the holidays will be the ones that he does not ask. Go figure.

Thanks for reading

Alan & Tam

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