A journey through grief with autism.

Alan Greenwell

2-Minute Read


Bean bag day.

12 Noon

Bean bag not here yet. Coming in a couple of hours.

Tam slept well last night, even if he did not settle until the early hours. Right now a good nights sleep is important. It helps to revitalise the immune system. I had a night of broken sleep with bad dreams and flashbacks. A reminder of how life can change so fast. This is going to be a long haul and that has a lot of worries attached. A night of bad dreams and flashbacks is understandable. My tiny little soul is trying to work things out and I need my tiny little baby soul to man up. I need a rugged battling hard arsed soul right now and I think he is cowering in the corner. I feel a bit like Bruce Banner when the Hulk refused to come out.

Things right now are crazy (I nearly said a bit crazy, well this is full on crazy) and there is a lot of uncertainity and anxiety surrounding all of us. I think my biggest worry right now is having enough deep dish pizzas and bacon, mushroom and noodles for Tam. I can get by on most anything but my boy is a fussy eater.

The second worry is if one of us gets really sick. At the moment I still don’t know if Tam had COVID-19 or just cold/flu. I have no clue. But there is a thousand ways to get real sick and what would happen in any of those situations.

OK, Greenwell, step back from yourself, take your tablets have a cup of tea.


The bean bag came earlier today and Tam loves it. He has found about 10 ways to use it and at one point threw it at me. So that is a big win. I was a bit disappointed by the size of it but Tam isn’t so no problem. We had our run out, so some exercise today.

Also watched the annoucement at 5. Things have got very real for people, the pubs are closed as well as every venue for entertainment. I forsee a large increase in divorces when this is all over.

I am expecting that binge shopping will now move to alcohol which I am OK with as I don’t drink,

Well that feels like a ramble for today, but it is what it is.

Stay Safe

Alan & Tam

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