A journey through grief with autism.

Alan Greenwell

2-Minute Read

I really want to write something meaningful. Something that speaks of life at the moment.

I need to get so much out of my head and writing or journaling is the one thing that helps. But and its a big but I am finding it really hard to write something understandable never mind meaningful. I feel stuck. The confusion and uncertainity of the last few months feel like they have caked on to me and its not drying out so that I can’t shake it off.

Tam has struggled recently and coping with that struggle is made even harder by a shoulder injury that is not getting fixed quickly enough. I am stuck with coping with his meltdowns in pain and the pain just gets worse until I can get him calm. Life is just not jiving with me.

On a bright note I managed to cut Tams hair. Not easy one handed. It was getting knotted and the more worrying part is that during his meltdowns he was pulling on it hard. I knew I had to do something so when I had a spurt of energy and Tam was in a playful mood we did it. He looks so grown up with it short, plus he has been in a much better mood since he had it cut. Great result on a couple of fronts from a simple haircut.

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