Living with a person with autism is full of extremes. Being the lone parent of your child with autism is even more full of extremes. At times the easiest thing to do is to surrender, hang out the white flag and run with them. Forget about all of the things that life used to be and just run with them. Operate in their version of the world for a bit, see if you can make sense of it. Sometimes I have been able to and sometimes it just remains a mystery.
During the lockdown I have accepted Tams nocturnal tendencies. Now, I am not saying at times it has not been difficult but one thing I do know is that it is better than not sleeping. This is my white flag.
Right now the hardest thing I have to deal with is the pain in my shoulder. Rotator cuff problems. This limits the amount of play I can do with Tam as when he gets over excited he can dive on me, pull my arms or I can just get to the point when the pain gets to be too much. So for the time being my white flag flies under a different reason.
For the meantime I will just keep smiling. It does not mean I am not in pain but for Tam and myself it is important. Pain is transitory, smiling is more important. My white flag might be flying and it might look like surrender but really its just giving me the right place to smile.
Alan & Tam