A journey through grief with autism.

Alan Greenwell

2-Minute Read


Tam has come home from school. He looks tired and loaded with cold. He could not be bothered with going out to the shops or for something to eat and cried when I asked him. So pyjama night it is. Wednesday nights are always Starbucks nights, a carry over from when Bev would take him out to meet a friend in town.

Tonight has turned into another thing that Bev used to try with Tam and she even went on a training course about it. Therapressure. It’s the process of brushing parts of arm, legs etc with a plastic brush. Now I cannot remember exactly how she did it but more on that soon.

So how did this come about. Mainly because Tams hair is getting longer. Last time it was cut I did it. I was desperate and I found him in a lovely mood just before giftmas and I sat and trimmed it in a fashion I had watched professionals do. It took a long while but it ended up alright. Well alright until he got his hair cut properly.

Hair cut properly, when is that going to happen I ask myself. We have tried a few times to do that exact thing the past couple of weeks and the barbers has either been packed or Tam has fought too hard or melted down as soon as it was mentioned. So what else could I do?

I bought a tangle teaser brush. If his hair is going to get a bit longer then I need to keep it tidy at least and I have been failing at that recently. Well that tangle teaser brush has ended up being a therapressure brush. A massage brush if you like. I showed Tam the brush and brushed his hair and in his tired and poorly (laying that on thick on his behalf) state he could not stop himself from giggling. Next he was pushing my hand (and brush) to brush his legs and arms. Then he sat on the floor in front of me so that he could have his shoulders and back brushed. When I stopped he grabbed my hand and started me off again, brushing him. All the time he is giggling.

It has been a beautiful 30 minutes of Tam and me being content and happy. Those moments do exist. And yes sweetheart I am still thinking about you.

Be good

Alan and Tam

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