A journey through grief with autism.

Alan Greenwell

2-Minute Read


The past week has been a good one. Starting Monday to Friday morning Tam slept exceptionally well for 3 out of the 4 nights. Down early and up early but solid uninterrupted sleep. It was absolutely brilliant. I felt rested, and he looked much more rested.

This was the first full week of me not being Tams escort as well. I basically have a couple of more hours to get things sorted every day. With Tam sleeping it felt like I had a lot of time to get tidied up and get some proper cleaning done. Only one of the days did I feel the need to get some sleep.

The only downside in the past week was that it is now not a good idea to take Tam into town. All of the christmas decorations are up in the high street and shopping centre. I took him in briefly not realising that and I could feel Tam as tense as could be. He went into HMV and came out within minutes. He was basically cowering and saying happy christmas in a sarcastic tone. I managed to get him onto the outskirts of town away from decorations before he lost it and had a meltdown. The tears really flowed. We spent half an hour sitting and cuddling with his head buried in my shoulder before I could get him walking again. He only properly calmed down after we had been home for a couple of hours. No more going into town with him until the end of January next year.

I have no idea how long it will take before Tam can appreciate christmas again.

So in all a good week. For the first time I have felt like we have progressed to a truly better place, still with a huge hole in our lives, but a better place.

Note : I intentionally spell christmas with a small c to place the importance of the day where it belongs.

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