Tam and Mammy

Over the past few days things have changed. We had been out for a walk around the park and something clicked in Tam. Before we even got home he was asking about the photos on the memory wall. At home he points at the photo and I tell him the story of when the photo…

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3 days of respite

It’s day 3 of Tam being in respite. One more sleep and he is home again. I set out plans for this time without Tam and I have mostly failed in achieving them. However, I have managed to reset things in my head and get some rest. I suppose it is better to fail in…

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Grief Monster

The grief monster is back again with Tam and his dreams. Dr. Kubler-Ross listed the stages of grief as shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. John Bowlby proposed 4 stages: shock and numbness, yearning and searching, despair and disorganization, reorganization and recovery. Now I think for me I can see the Kubler-Ross as…

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Be Good to Yourself

One of the things I was told early on in this journey was to “be good to yourself”. I was told this by medical professional, social services, friends, Tams teachers. At the time I could not see how to do this and also what difference it would make. I really could not see how to…

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Ready for school

Half Term

Been a tough half term. Sleep is still the toughest part for us.

Newcastle Sunrise


5am and Tam is petrified to sleep.

How far have me come?

September is tough. Birthdays all the way. One left and its important to do the right thing. What is the right thing?