Visiting Tam

So planned visit with Tam today. It did not go as planned.

Arrived at the hospital and was signing in when I got a call from an unknown number. It was the ward in the hospital to say that there had been an incident. Tam had had to be restrained and then put into seclusion. My Tam had blown his lid like he has done at home and school.

I had a brief conversation with one of the nurses which give me an outline of what was happening and realised that I was not going to be able to see him today. Time to go home.

As I walk back to the town centre I realised one thing that has always been on my mind - “is it me? Does Tam blame me for his Mammy not being here?”. Well in a way this proves it is not that. It is something that Tam is struggling with. It could be any mix of autism, puberty, PTSD, anxiety, grief, seperation anxiety and a whole bunch of other things as well.

So a long walk home with tears for my beautiful boy and worries as to what it means. Will the section 2 be changed to a section 3? He has hurt some staff, so it would be understandable if it changes. But what will that mean?

I have more question today than I had 2 weeks ago when he was admitted.