When things go wrong it is very easy to get down and despondent. The past few months it would have been very easy to let that happen for me and Tam.

My only advice in this situation is to look at what is important. Write it down. Remind yourself what really matters. Focus on these things and do your damnest to push the crap away.

I usually start with a list of good things and bad things. At the start of writing the list I can write more bad things than good but as I dump out all of the thoughts more good things come to the front.

Next I ask myself “what can I do about the bad things?”. Invariably, a lot of them I cannot do much about and I have to just let them go. Some I can take some form of action to either put them to sleep or to stop them bothering me. I take that action straight away. There, done. Stop worrying about that one.

Soon the list diminishes. The world looks slightly better.

Once you have got through the list tear it up. Throw it away. Let the bin man look after it.

Now, make that list of things that matter again. Keep that list for a few days and look at it every time you start worrying about things. Is it on the list? No? If it is take a moment and think about what you either need to do or can do. If you think of something then write it down on your list. Then either do it or leave it alone.

I think this process works because when you write something down the brain can forget about it. Its like it has accepted it as been dealt with. I don’t know if that is the right assumption but it’s how I feel.

The one thing I do know is my brain will worry about a million things happening if I let it. When it comes down to it maybe 1 of those things is worth worrying about and doing something about. The rest are a bunch of what if and imaginary problems.

So, write down your worries in one column and your things you are important things in another and whittle them down. Then try and relax. I leave it to you about how to categorise those lists. That could be anything. Just make one column positive and the other the negative.

Final thought, I cannot honestly say this works 100% of the time, but I do know that it gives me time to distract myself and when it works it is helpful. Your mileage may vary. Good luck.

Alan

Dad and Broken Human. (click the envelope to reach out)