One of the things I was told early on in this journey was to “be good to yourself”. I was told this by medical professional, social services, friends, Tams teachers. At the time I could not see how to do this and also what difference it would make. I really could not see how to be good to myself. I had no idea.

Dropping Tam off at the respite centre was hard, especially after being at the beach with him all day. The drop off was quick and consisted of a kiss and a bye-bye. I hoped that all of the preparation had worked. I have talked to Tam many times about him staying at the centre and having an adventure and sleep over. With his lack of verbal comebacks it’s difficult to totally understand how much he understands. One part of me is that he understands almost everything, then there is the doubt…

Written 16th July 23:00

Today me and Tam were separated for longest time. We spent 6 hours apart on a weekend. Yes, we are separate when Tam goes to school. This was only the second time in the last 18 months that we have been separate, but the last time I was in the same building. Today Tam went to a respite centre with me and I left him there. He went off to the beach and I went home.